We're Burning Red
by HunterOfNight
Summary: HS AU wherein Dean breaks up with Castiel and sets him free to protect the other boy from the troubles in his life. Castiel just knows it's partly his fault too as to why they ended. It was because he was not strong enough. They still love each other. TW: Mention of self-harm but no actual self-harm takes place.


**AN:** Hello guys, title inspired from the song "Red" by Taylor Swift.

* * *

If someone had told Castiel that Dean and his relationship would end just ten days after their 2 month anniversary, he would have chased them with his vegetable cutting knife, and filled their social media with pranks until they fled and never came back.

Before life throws you into a curveball, warning signs are always there. Sure they may never flash like neon lights wherever you go, but little things do happen that hint to a future tragedy. And of course there are your instincts and that little voice in you that tells you something is wrong.

Castiel learned it all the hardest way. The lesson came with the high price of losing his hope, faith and love in the same shot.

He sighs for the umpteenth time from where he's lying on this stomach above the fluffy blankets and wiped his running nose on his already wet shirt sleeve. Seriously how does the stupid nose produces so much stuff? He's pretty sure he's been crying himself sore for hours.

His picks up his phone to see a new message from Dean and he doesn't cry, or scream or fight.

He's too defeated for that and the phone call to Charlie helped him calm down despite her screaming at him to not drown himself in tears and the repeated insistence to visit him. He needed to be alone right now.

With a sigh, he opens the text message and if possible his heart drops further.

 **Dean :** _If hating me makes it easier for you, then hate me._

He could never hate Dean. Never in a million years. The boy was too perfect, practically like an angel. It was him who wasn't strong enough to withstand his burning bright form.

But he should have paid attention, when he stopped returning his heart emojis, stopped saying the L-word back, or when he had removed the 'Taken 09/18/16' from his social media username.

He saw it but never bought it up. And now they're both paying for it.

He wasn't strong enough.

It was all his fault.

 **Four hours ago**

Castiel kicked a stone as he walked through the stony path to the park. His heart was beating wildly in his chest. The chilly november air felt like icicles on his nose, and his lips felt too cold. He stuffs his sweating hands in his hoodie pocket. He picked out his phone from his pocket and swiped the screen. He ignored all his instagram notifications, eyes hungry for _one_ person. The said person was a green eyed, freckled angel ( as per Castiel anyway) seventeen year old Dean Winchester. The boon of his existence, his reason of survival, his everything crafted delicately and beautifully as a 6'1 bowlegged perfection in every manner possible. A true masterpiece to ever exist.

He opened his messages and frowned when he saw two little blue dots of new messages from Kevin and Jo.

 **Jo :** _Caaaaaaaaaaaaaas_

 **Kevin :** _Cas, you there?_

Huh, he doesn't remember talking to them the previous day.

He ignored them and scrolled down to see there were no messages from Dean. He was a little down, but given what the green eyed boy was going through, it was alright for Dean to naturally close off. He was flying to Texas for a late thanksgiving anyway, maybe he was in flight? But the thought of Dean made him smile anyway. He was his boyfriend, there were going strong for 2 months already, and they had confessed the L- word to each other before they even became a thing. Of course the two idiots in love thought that it was perfectly normal to tell your friends "I love you" with kisses like it's totally what bffs do. It wasn't until Charlie smashed the idiots in love together and forced them to confront about their feelings that they became official. Destiel, they all called them and shipped them.

He sighs and pockets his phone, but the smile was still on his face. He looks up at the sunny sky and chews his lips, Dean was going through some real troubles right then. The green eyed boy had suddenly went AWOL after an apology without any reason or warning. His phone went to voicemails, and Castiel had left a plethora of voice messages, without batting a single eye to the minutes left on his phone ; he'd left countless messages, blew up his social media DMs, but no response. Nothing.

When Dean did come online after 30 hours of Castiel worrying and reaching the deep end, and almost wanting to rip his hair out ; the freckled boy just responded that he needs to sort things out on his own and that he needs his space. Castiel's worrying level shot up at that he was ready to ditch sleep and everything and just meet him, but Dean was stubborn in his stand and forced him to stop by going offline. Castiel with trembling hands called him but it went to voicemail. Frustrated and scared for his lover, he went to his bed but laid awake wondering what's wrong with his angel.

Now 7 hours later as he enters the park gates, the smell of freshly watered grass greets him, and as he looks up from the grassy path, he sees the familiar mop of charcoal strained blonde hair, and then the black leather jacket of the owner. He could never forget the stance of the boy in a million years. He knew each and every inch of him, he's felt the touch of those strong arms holding him, the chest on which he laid his head and listened to the beat of the boy's heart like the melody that he yearned to hear all his life.

Before he knows it he's running and screams out a loud, "Dean!" and before the said guy could turn, he's leaping up and wrapping arms tightly around his shoulder, his body half dangling on to the other side. The force of the hug knocks Dean but he stumbles and catches himself and Castiel's weight on his back. Castiel buries his face on the folded back collar of his leather jacket. He could've sworn he felt Dean stiffen under his touch but he shrugs it off as his wild paranoia.

Dean turns in his grasp and smiles softly at him, "Hey Cas."

Castiel grins through his happiness and relief and takes his arms off Dean and steps back and excitedly asks, "Angel, I never expected you to be here! How are you?"

Something felt off the way his green eyes were too soft and guarded at the same, the stiff way he stood, or the way he looked at him. He was looking at him like a person told that they were going to lose their vision the next minute and so they were drinking in the sight longingly they loved the most, before darkness would surround them, and that they would lose their favorite sight forever.

His thoughts are broken by Dean shuffling closer to him and lifting his hand to run his fingers gently over his temple, brushing back some stray locks, he then cupped the side of his face with his hand, his thumb gently and slowly tracing the curve of his cheekbone. His green eyes looked like a kaleidoscope of green and grey mixed as a wave of emotion clouded them.

This observation knocked the breathe out of Castiel and he opens his mouth to ask but then a finger on his lips stops him.

"Shhh...don't.", whispers Dean hoarsely and voice heavy with emotion. Like he'd been crying.

Castiel stares at him wide eyed as the blonde then removes his finger from his lips, and he seizes the chance to speak up but then Dean leans forward and silences him by placing his lips on his in a firm kiss. The blue eyed boy's eyes closed on his accord and he relaxes and leans into the touch and responds back gently. He feels Dean's other hand too cup his untouched cheek, so that now Dean was now practically holding his face and pouring all his passion into the slow gentle kiss. Like a flood of rain water gushing through the narrow dam gate.

It felt wrong. Almost like a goodbye.

It's over as soon it had started and Dean's pulling away and resting his forehead against his. Still holding his face. His eyes were closed, but Castiel opens his and jesus, the way Dean looks like this is beautiful from his long eyelashes to his spit slicked lips. It would be endearing if it wasn't for the way his fingers trembled while playing with the hair falling on his face or the way his lips were curled in a soft grimace or the way the shadows fell under his eyes.

Something was off. It was a big.

Dean opens his eyes, and they look red and he pulls back keeping a larger distance between them. Separating them too much. Castiel instantly misses his comforting warmth and loving touch.

"Dean? What's wrong? Talk to me.", he quietly says eyes never leaving his lover's face. Sapphire and emerald orbs collide in a flurry of grey emotions and guarded thoughts.

"Cas..you'd never hurt yourself would you?", he asks looking squarely into Castiel's eyes as the blue eyed boy is caught off the question and his head is swirling in a million crosswalks trying to detain the reason behind the question.

"I...", he startes lamely and looks down at his lover's brown combat boots, "I've...", he stutters.

"You'd never harm yourself no matter how bad the pain is or no matter how much it hurts?", Dean continues eyeing him strongly and observing him sharply.

A sudden realisation hits Castiel and his stomach burns in dread... did Dean...

"Dean NO! Tell me you didn't do it.", he shrieks horrified and runs to him and lifts his jacket sleeve to check for supposed fresh cuts. Dear Heavens what happened to the boy that made him hurt himself?!

Dean rolls his eyes and gently pushes Castiel away and puts an arm on his shoulder to stop his frantic movements. "Cas I've not done anything calm down. I'm asking about you. So?''

Castiel's eyes resume their position on Dean's boots and he whispers, " I...did once but that was before we were together. I wasn't supposed to...I mean I wanted to, but not then and the paper knife accidentally cut up my palm." He looks up to see Dean watching him in naked concern and an unreadable look in his eyes. "It was a teeny cut.", he quickly assures him.

He reaches up and gently interlaces the fingers curled tightly on his trenchcoat sleeve and whispers, "Where's this all coming from ?"

Dean sighs and pulls his arm back from Castiel's grasp, and the latter's hand instinctively shoots to hold it back but it's too late, Dean tucks his hand in his jacket pocket.

"Promise me you'd never hurt yourself. No matter what happens, no matter how hard it feels, or how much it hurts." , he says thickly in a too rich tone.

Castiel studies him for a moment as another wave of panic grips him. "Dean please whatever you think of doing don't do it, please. Don't harm yourself." He knew Dean would never hurt himself physically, he did that mentally. Not that it made Castiel feel any better, but he had to make sure he won't self-harm himself.

Dean lets out a sigh blowing misty breath in the cold air in the process as he says sternly yet softly, "I'm not talking about me Cas, I'm asking you.", his green eyes capturing Castiel in a steel cage.

"I won't Dean, I promise to not hurt myself. I can't do that to you and besides Charlie would kill me if I did.", He says quietly looking at Dean. Both unmoving as the other debated what to do next. The cold wind blew ruffling their hair.

"Promise me Dean you won't hurt yourself either. No matter what happens.", he asks feeling the cold chill seeping into his guts.

" Promise Cas I won't." Dean said, then the remaining traces of softness goes from his eyes behind a wall of steel gaze as the words that he says next makes fear double itself in Castiel's chest, " But there's something I have to do. And I need you do promise me a few things."

"Dean w-what are you g-gonna do?"

"Promise me you won't hurt yourself. I have to do this Cas. Please don't try to talk me out of this, if you stop me it'll make it only harder", he looks at Castiel pleadingly.

Now he feels his head pound from fear and tiredness. If he wasn't awake before, he sure as hell feels all traces of sleep vanish from him.

"Dean what the hell are you planning to do? Please don't hurt yourself. I promise you the first part. But not anymore promises, this isn't a soap opera angel, it's your life. I'm not leaving you. And I'm not gonna let you do something that's gonna hurt you or break you.", he finishes firmly but trying to control his quivering lips.

Dean closes his eyes and when he opens them there are unshed tears and such raw pain that fill Castiel's eyes with tears too and make him reach forward towards him, but the blonde jerks backwards still eyeing him.

He feels a pang of heartbreak but he ignores it and curls his hand, his nails digging into the curve of his palm. "D-Dean?"

"What I'm gonna do, is not just gonna hurt me Cas. That's the problem here.", he says now tearing his gaze away from Castiel and looking intensely at the rusty park bench. Thank hell's bells, they're the only ones in the park.

And somehow by his lack of sleep or the inner optimism translator ladies and gentlemen Castiel doesn't hear the word 'just' in Dean's speech.

He lets out a relieved sigh and smiles but it dims a little at Dean's confused hurt look. " Thank God, it's not gonna hurt you. That's a good right?"

Dean looks at him in disbelief and owlishly blinks at him. The smile slips out of Castiel's face and dread and fear settles strongly in him, "...or not depending upon the situation."

The blonde licks his lips and stares directly into his eyes, like as if he's trying to tell him something through them, "Cas it will hurt me, but not only me and it's hurting me right now. A lot. " his voice cracks at the end and there's that rawness and the guilt back in them.

Castiel is paralyzed in his place by the look Dean is giving him. Suddenly it all clicks in his head. He just fucking knows what's coming next.

"You're g-gonna b-break up with me aren't...you?", he whispers stammering. And oh boy he could see his own shattering heart reflect in Dean's eyes.

"That's what it was it ,isn't it?" Dean still stares at him, the pain becoming more evident in his eyes.

So that was it. This is the end. Dean didn't need to say it, for him to know it. It's just how they work.

He feels tears clouding his eyes and he forces a smile through them and looks on Dean's boots again, "If you've found someone else it's okay..." he misses Dean frantically shaking his head.

" Hey angel," He looks up at Dean who's crying too now, he smiles falsely again through the salt on his lips, " It's okay I hope they'll make you happy..."

"There isn't someone else Cas. I'm setting you free.", Dean grits out looking at him willing him to understand.

But Castiel in his haze still continues, "...and I'm not gonna hold you back, promise and I'd be friends with you too if you wanna keep- WHAT?!", he shouts the last part now glaring at Dean as the words dawned on him.

He was letting go.

There wasn't anyone else. What the actual fuck, did he even hear that right?

"DEAN WINCHESTER.", he roared ignoring the flinch Dean gave at the outburst, "What the hell? Do you love me?"

"Cas please," Dean begged quietly.

"Do you love me or not Dean?", he locked his eyes with Dean determined to not let his worst nightmare come true.

"I do Castiel that's why I'm letting you go.", Dean answered robotically.

"It's me isn't it?"

"Cas no that's no-"

"Oh yes me who's too fucking clingy, I did the same to my ex and now history repeated ding ding." He says angrily and cuts off Dean again and continues, " It's always me Dean, I'm sick, twisted, just a fuck up, with nothing to his name.", he finishes self-hatred clear in his eyes.

"Castiel STOP. It's not you okay? Do you not understand I love you, that' why I'm letting you go. I love you. And the things I've made you go through is not fair. You're the best, you're not a fuck up, you're not sick, I love you. Cas please don't think that I don't want you.", Dean screams angrily and grips Castiel's shoulders to stop his rant. The smaller boy pushes him back and Dean stumbles back feeling a knife wedge through him and grow deeper and cut him.

Oh boy the courage that took him to do this, he knew if Castiel hadn't said it loud, he'd have been broken into pieces before he even uttered it out. Watching the beautiful love of his eyes self-destruct right under his eyes is too hard, goddamnit and it takes every fiber of his cell to not go there and scoop him in his arms and tell him this isn't real. But it is real and his doing, and he has to do it. It fucking hurts and tore him from inside out. He'd die first that hurt Castiel. But there he went and did it. He can't let Cass spiral down with him. He has to protect him.

" If you love me then you drag me with you wherever you go, up or down and not break up with me. That's not how it works Dean! You're so perfect with all your smiles and goofs, please don't break u-up"

His knees buckle but he holds up himself using all the remnants of courage he could muster to do so," I-I don't think I could survive this...", his whispers looking down and closing his eyes shut tightly, a tear drop runs down his damp cheek and into the grass like a dew drop.

He's vaguely aware of a pair of strong arms wrapping around his shoulders and shaking him, "Castiel NO!", Dean yells in panic and terror. He can't lose Castiel. No it would kill him too. He's doing this all to protect him, not kill him.

Castiel shrugs off the arms around his shoulder and rounds on to face Dean, tears flowing freely now and whispers through the lump in his throat, "I'd be alive physically, but...b-but from the inside I'm dead."

Dean grabs his shoulder and shakes him his eyes wild with panic and horror, "No Cas you WILL survive this okay? And you promised me Cas that you will.", his voice cracking but too stable for the situation.

Castiel pushes him away again with all the force he could muster with his weak and broken heart and soul. "I PROMISED MY BOYFRIEND.", he shouts hoarsely ignoring the raw pain that flashes on Dean's face at that. But then he stops because really what is he suppose to scream at Dean? His boyfriend or his ex- no no he won't go there ; are the same people. He still loves him with everything he has.

"B-but you're not...", a large sob tears him through and he allows himself to crumble and fall on his ass onto the rust park bench, he bows his head and puts his hands on his face and cries loudly.

Dean feels like he's torn into a zillion pieces. Like his heart being ripped apart and he's being crushed under an eighteen wheeler truck. He is being forced to stand there and watch the boy he loves slowly crumble and break apart with his own eyes. Because of him.

"Cas no, don't cry.", he whispers shuffling a step closer to him.

That was the wrongest thing to say. Castiel stops sobbing and snaps to glare at him, the blue of his eyes drowned by the redness of the pain evident in them. He looks at his lover in disbelief and then starts laughing cynically.

He stands up on wobbly legs, his laughter dies to a humorless smirk and he snippily says, "Oh Hell's bells look my boyfriend, my soulmate, the love of my life, MY EVERYTHING, who just broke up with me is telling me not to cry how hilarious. Not."

"Cas...", Dean whispers brokenly and tries to reach to him again but Castiel jerks back and stumbles, "No. We're in this together Dean."

Dean shakes his head and turns away so that Castiel can't see his face, "No Cas it's just me-"

"And if you think reassigning me my single status is gonna work, it's not.", Castiel screams

"Cas just trust me.", Dean whispers clutching his temple, pounding pain searing through his chest

"Because...", Castiel continues desperate to make Dean understand. They were not over. Not until Dean stops loving him. "...if that's the case your boyfriend or not, I am not going anywhere _angel._ I'm not leaving you Dean. You're my everything, and I'd be damned if l let go of you. Just don't forget to invite me to your wedding when you find out the right person ,okay?", he regrets the last sentence as soon as he utters it and sees Dean go stiff and then whirl towards him in a flurry of wild green eyes and a dumbfounded look.

The look is quickly replaced by defeated anger as Dean rounds on him, "There's nobody else alright?! This is me setting you free, so that you can go on be happy and live the life you want. I'm not the right person for you not matter how hard you believe it ! "

"You're the right one for me Dean."

"No."

"No one loves me."

"That's not true and you know it."

"Well Michael is gonna have a blast if he knows we broke up.", Castiel huffs out waiting for the reaction.

And Dean doesn't disappoint him.

He looks squarely into Castiel's eyes with a fire and growls out ," That's none of his fucking business."

The possessive streak in his voice gives Castiel a renewed hope and he straightens and fights back determined to not let Dean slip.

"There's no one else that my heart sings for Dean but you. You're my reason to live, to make everyday worth it because I get to see you and hear your voice, you're my life Dean. Without you I am lost in the dark.", he chokes out through a fresh burst of tears.

Dean looks paralyzed and every ounce of him screams his pain and dilemma and the love he has for Castiel.

"Cas you're young and you have a long life ahead of you, you'll find someone who is worthy of you, someone who isn't me.", he says ignoring the pain in his heart.

"No Dean...", his voice cracks and he sits on the rusty bench and tiredly holds his head and closes his eyes and says loud enough for Dean to hear, "There's not gonna be anyone else. There's you and you only."

Dean squeezes his eyes shut at the growing whirlwind inside him and whispers equally tired, "I'm not the right one for you."

Castiel huffs out a wet sigh and whispers sarcastically, "You couldn't pick a right time to break up with me between the mid terms . At least physics is over."

Dean grimaced at the extra burdens in the situation, "I'm sorry."

The clear sunny blue sky above them taunts Castiel as he opens his watery blue eyes and with a renewed sense to get Dean back stands up, he's not ready to lose Dean. Not without a fight, heck he isn't even sure he's ready to lose him _at all_ . He's doesn't know what will remain of him if does lose him.

"If you love me don't go. Please Dean.", it comes out a desperate broken plea

Dean tries to recollect himself at the broken voice of the one he loves so much, " I can't Cas. I love you that's why I'm doing this to protect you. Even if I'll have to protect you from me. I can't let you in Cas, I can't drag you down, I have to fight my demons on my own.", his voice dull yet firm.

Anger and heartbreak bubbles strongly in Castiel's chest and he screams at Dean's back, "You're doing the exact opposite Dean, I'm the safest with you, without you I'm alone and broken. Don't you get it?"

Dean doesn't says anything or turns back. Castiel sighs and folds his arms across his chest

"I'm sorry Dean."

Dean turns sideways and frowns , " For what?"

"I'm sorry for not trying enough to make you stay, I'm sorry for not being strong for you, and for being a fucking failure.", he whispers looking at the grass and running a hand dejectedly through his already messed up hair.

Dean whirls around and he looks angry at Castiel's self-loathing and screams angrily,

"Damnit Cas, why don't you get it? It's not for the lack of trying. You tried all you could and I'm just too stubborn to take no for an answer and you're better off without me to drag you down. You're not a failure Cas."

Castiel is just about to rebut but 'Smoke on Water' starts blaring through Dean's jean pocket. He watches as the blonde picks up the phone with shaking hands and frowns at the screen before rejecting the call and typing out a quick message.

He pockets the phone and looks up at Castiel, and oh boy his green eyes look shattered. His eyes always tell what he never says or his body language conveys.

"It's mom, she's asking when I'll be home. We leave for the airport in fifteen minutes.", Dean whispers and looking distracted and glassy.

Castiel mutely nods and whispers, "You should go then."

Dean stays rooted on the spot and fixes Castiel with a worrying look, "I can't leave you like this Cas."

Castiel shrugs and says blankly, " It doesn't matter. Go have fun with your grandparents...and I wish you luck that you find someone suitable for you."

What else are you supposed to say to the person you love more than anything and they break up with you ?

Dean sighs and runs a shaky hand through his blond spikes, "Cas there's no one else and I won't find someone else either. I prefer my solitude."

A humourless smile stretches on Castiel's lips, " Funny how you repeat the same thing now Winchester."

Dean doesn't deter from the biting remark, "You'll find someone who loves you soon you baby in a trenchcoat, people will crawl over each other to ask you out."

It hurts him to even so much as dream of Castiel with anyone else. But it has to be done. It better not be fucking Michael though. Or Meg.

"Easy for you to say buttercup."

Dean snorts, " I am speaking the truth sparkles."

Castie shakes his head and takes one last look at Dean's weary face, glassy emerald orbs and his slump and replies softly, "You better get going before Mary files a missing person's report."

Dean purses his lips and studies Castiel from head to toe and then stares into his eyes, trying to see behind the stone walls behind his stormy blues that reflect the sunlight with pain shimmering in them.

"Take care of yourself...and I'll text you when I reach there okay ?", he gently asks resisting the urge to scoop Castiel in his arms one last time.

Castiel just mutely nods and whispers hoarsely,

"Have a safe journey ahead Dean. I'll wait for your text."

"Goodbye Castiel."

"Bye Dean."

And with that Dean turns back and shoves his hands into his pockets and curls them into a fist, the urge to go back and stay with Castiel is strong, but he has to go.

He treads towards the park entrance gates and pauses and turns back, eyes instantly zooming on Castiel awkwardly slumped against the back of the rusty bench.

Castiel's breath catches in his throat through the sobs as he sees Dean turn back. Green eyes narrowed under the glare of the sun, they're sparkling too, and the sun forms a halo on Dean's head as the stood under the arc between the gates.

He was truly an angel.

Dean watches as Castiel weakly waves at him in farewell and it takes every ounce in him to not combust or go back to the blue eyed boy and kiss him, hug him and never let go. So he quickly turns and runs as fast as he could nearly colliding with a cyclist distributing the morning news paper as turns the sidewalk and runs to his house few blocks away.

Castiel watches as Dean sprints off like a person running from something that is out to kill them. Once he disappears, the weight of the situation slams him hard and breaks him. His legs buckle and there is a strong emptiness settling in his chest and the burn of emotions bursts in him. He lets out a loud sob and too runs out of the park in large sprints towards his apartment.

He ignores his legs burning and the stone from the gravel digging into his feet as he runs. By the time he reaches his apartment, he almost crashes into his parents leaving for work. He hastily makes excuses about exercising and doing laps and ignores the amused and suprised comments they both give and half-heartedly wishes them goodbye as they go.

He lets out a loud wail and a desperate cry to have Dean back. To soothe the burning pain in his chest, the feeling of losing a large and an important part of himself with Dean.

He needs to call Charlie. She always knows what to do, when he himself is clueless about his own temperament. And so he slumps and curls against the wall of his bedroom and with trembling fingers calls Charlie.

He's still crying and hiccupping when she picks up.

"Cas?", her voice breaks him more

He clutches the phone like his life depends on it and cries harder,

"Cas? Why are you crying?!", she shrieks out heavily concerned

He tells her in between sobs about everything that happened. He lays there after he hangs up and phone dangles loosely from his hand and falls on the carpeted floor with a soft thump.

He curls into a ball and keeps crying.

He's lost the love he loves the most. The worst part?

It's all even more worse for Dean.

 **PRESENT**

 **Dean :** _If hating me makes it easier for you, then hate me._

Castiel quickly types back a reply to Dean

 **Castiel :** _I could never hate you Dean. Please take it easy on yourself too._

He waits for a few seconds and then sees Dean is typing, so he lays back down on the bed and waits patiently for the reply. He's way too boneless to move anyway. He wished he could pretend that he's good, that he's strong because he knows Dean needs someone there for him. Someone strong to support him.

But when you're in love with your best friend and they love you too, it's absolutely hard to hide behind a facade. They see through your bullshit because they know you better than you know about yourself.

His phone beeps and he looks on the screen and reads Dean's message

 **Dean :** _I'm sorry Cas. It may hurt now but you'll get better soon and move on from me. You can always come to me if you need anything._

Fresh tears cloud Castiel's vision as he replies back

 **Castiel :** _Maybe I will maybe I won't. You can always come to me too, I'm still your friend Angel._

He wipes his tears and sets his phone on his pillow. He understands why Dean did it. He also knows that it's his own fault too mostly as to why they ended. But there's this one thing for sure : Dean won't be alone in his dark journey. He's not gonna stop him but he's not gonna stand there and watch the freckled boy burn either.

He's gonna make sure Dean survives this journey. He's gonna watch over him silently. And he'll wait for Dean for even a lifetime, if that's the time Dean needs to come back to him.

His phone pings and the text freezes his insides and gives him hope

 **Dean :** _You won't lose me. Survivor, remember ?_

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading guys and I'm sorry for the ending


End file.
